Well truth is, I have been so busy packing up my friend's dear mother's belongings for the last month and a half since she passed away. She was my dearest and truly my best and only real friend here and this hasn't been an easy task. She was a collector of beautiful glass, carnival, Vaseline, crystal, rose and so much more. Lots of jewelry and other collectables. That is just the beginning of what I have been wrapping. She used her dressers drawers to store many of her collections in instead of using them for clothing so just when I thought I was done, it was still finding more carnival glass and crystal.
All of this though was not only to help my friends daughter, but also, we are suppose to be moving into the house and lease it from her. We have till the end of May to make the move and it just isn't coming together as much as I would have hoped it would. Lately I am getting the feeling that she has changed her mind and I am just devastated by it all. A month and a half of packing and cleaning and getting rid of things for her and I am getting such strange vibes that she doesn't want us to move in now. Maybe its all in my mind and I am a very sensitive person so I take insinuations and comments to heart and they feel very insecure about the whole situation. I could be reading something into nothing and that I just want this all to happen so bad that I am scared it isn't going to happen. I can't really seem to talk to her about it as she says, don't worry, everything is fine, etc but still I get asked have you seen all the carnival glass that was in a trunk in the basement. I haven't even ventured into the basement as that was something we were going to work on gradually since it is packed to the max too.
I really love her like she were one of my own daughters or at the least a very dear friend but I am just getting the strangest feelings like she doesn't trust me or feels unsure about me? If that were the case I can't fathom that she would have me packing all of her mother's belongings.
I guess I just needed to vent. I am just so tired and feeling so desperate that my dream to live there isn't going to happen. This dream is becoming a nightmare.
Thanks for listening.